Being Newly Single During a Pandemic

Being Newly Single During a Pandemic

As you know, Josh and I broke up, but being newly single isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Considering this was my first proper relationship, obviously I had never experienced a break up before. It’s been a strange journey, especially it was a long time coming I guess. I’m writing the introduction of this post last. I’ve had to have this post proofread by Marty so it was perfect. First things first. I’m not here to bad mouth anyone in any way. I just need to give some background because date night ideas and travel ambitions were all around my relationship. Plus, like I’ve mentioned before, I use my blog as a little diary. I like to share certain aspects of my life with my lovely readers.

Not Like The Movies

Let’s get one thing straight – breaking up with someone in your early-20’s is NOT like the movies. I thought it would be like when Bridget Jones sits on her sofa, with her two best mates Ben and Jerry, watching crap rom coms. In fact, it’s the opposite. I was really upset about everything – the way it was handled, the aftermath and how it’s affected our friendship group. I’m not going to lie, I burst into tears. Nearly two years had ended by text after not speaking for the best part of a month. Even though I saw it coming, I was gutted. Being newly single during a pandemic isn’t the best. Especially since I couldn’t go and see friends or family.

Wallowing? What’s that?

I didn’t do the typical wallowing stage as I convinced myself to just continue as normal as honestly, it had felt like I had been newly single for a while before it was official. It would get really awkward when people would ask how we were and I really didn’t know. I guess I’m glad I finally have an answer now, ha! Even though we both agreed to go back to being friends, that hasn’t really happened which is normal. It’s going to be a while until we can go back to the way we were before we were together.

Plus a worldwide pandemic doesn’t really help either. I think the first time we’ll see each other face to face again will be trés awks. Especially with the way everything finished. Again, I don’t think I’ll have that movie moment of being stick thin with changed hair. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being in a relationship – it’s just a tad rubbish once it’s all ended.

Telling Family and Friends

Telling the boys (as I like to call Will and Jake) wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be as they kind of already guessed. I had been on multiple gin dates with the one and only Marty, like I mentioned in my uni post, and we’d talked about everything happening. It was brill to just get everything I was feeling off my chest to someone who gets me and has a logical response too. Everyone was really supportive which I am so grateful for.

I remember ringing Grandma and immediately getting upset telling her that it would just be me from now on. I love my Grandma to pieces and she knew how to distract me from crying by getting me to tell her about work stories from the Karen’s and Richard’s of the world, ha! This pandemic has been really hard for us all but especially for us Darby’s as there is already five people in my grandparents household so it’s been difficult as we can’t go and see them.

Focusing on Myself

For the past month and a bit, I’ve been putting myself first and it’s been great. I feel miles more confident at work and even with my blog too. Before I was a bit nervous to share my blog on another platform other than Twitter, but since I’ve started sharing it on my personal Facebook it’s been a real confidence boost when friends react the post! I have a Facebook page for my blog too where I post updates so please feel free to like that too, it’s linked here!

The Future

I mentioned before the break up has affected our little friendship group. We haven’t really spoke as a group since the first lockdown. I think the last time we all went out as a group was for Will’s birthday in August. Hopefully things will go back to a somewhat ‘normal’ for us four. I talk to Will and Jake everyday, even if it’s just a simple ‘have a good day’ or ‘guess what I did that’s typical Niamh’, ha!

During lockdown 2.0, I’ve been going out for short walks a lot more. It’s brill to just pop my fave playlist on and go for a stroll. It’s also good for clearing my head too. Recently I’ve been planning Christmas presents for family members, some are already finished. Others I haven’t a clue where to start, oops! If you have any good podcast or playlist recommendations, feel free to comment them below!

Here’s to a fresh start.

P.S: Just a little extra thank you to those who aren’t named in this post but have helped me these past few months. You are LEGENDS and I love you very much.

Niamh x

Follow:
Share:

20 Comments

  1. 23/11/2020 / 18:19

    Fantastic post Niamh! I think your first break up is a real journey- and whether you cry or tough your way through it I’m glad to see you’ve come out the other side! Seeing him may be a little awkward- but it’s good to know you have lovely people in your life to support you 🙂 can’t wait to read more posts, love it x

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      23/11/2020 / 18:24

      Thank you! It’s been a journey but I feel a better person after everything! Thank you so much for reading! X

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      23/11/2020 / 19:15

      Yes exactly! Thank you for reading! X

  2. 23/11/2020 / 19:15

    Hope you’re doing okay! I experienced my first breakup about a year ago, so I have an idea of what you’re going through. Feel free to send me a message any time if you’d like to chat! PS – I ended up getting back with my boyfriend, so just don’t ask me about getting over someone… 😂

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      23/11/2020 / 19:17

      HAHA, I love it! Thank you for reading and I’ll be sure to drop you a message sometime! X

  3. 23/11/2020 / 19:28

    As soon as I saw the title, I had to read!! My relationship ended in September, genuinely in that moment I was like what the hell am I going to do now. That’s when it really hit me that I need to work on myself and put myself first. I can now see the areas I need to work on and things I want to iron out before I get into another relationship, also having learned what I would like in a partner.

    Honestly, it’s so shit in the moment and feels like the world is ending. But life goes on, there are soooo many people out there in the world. Why would we want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with us? Chances are the relationship was far from perfect, think about the negatives (trust it helps get into that glow up attitude 😂). The more I spoke about mine the more I realised how imperfect it all was and how many things I let slide because I really wanted to make it work.

    As far as the pandemic goes, I’m kind of glad but also getting a little bored of it. It’s good to have that time to work on you. If you are out all the time and busy with friends, it’s good fun, but are you working on you?

    Just know that someone else will come along and there will be a time that you look back and realise exactly why it wasn’t right for you.

    Hayley || hayleyxmartin

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      23/11/2020 / 19:36

      Ah sorry to hear that! Thank you for your kind words! I’m happy being just me at the moment and like you said, someone else will come along! X

  4. 24/11/2020 / 10:48

    I’m glad you’re doing okay and that you have a good support network around you. If you ever need to chat my DMs are always open (can’t say I’ll have much good advice though, haha)!

    Tash – A Girl with a View

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      24/11/2020 / 10:49

      Ah thank you! Xxx

  5. 24/11/2020 / 11:54

    It’s so fab to hear you have great people around you! Your first break up really isn’t easy but trust me, a year on, you’ll see it as a blessing and the right choice. Hope you’re doing okay xx
    https://www.dellalovesnutella.co.uk/

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      24/11/2020 / 12:05

      Thank you! Xx

  6. Tarryn Leigh
    24/11/2020 / 17:51

    Great post!

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years in July and while it was something that I wanted I really struggled to adapt to my new life of being single. Since then it has been up and down but I have really enjoyed getting to know who I am on my own and working on myself. In this case, I guess the cliche saying of time heals all things is true. It will get better and easier as time passes. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and be kind to yourself.

    Hope you’re OK xx

    Tarryn Leigh | http://www.tarrynleigh.com

  7. 24/11/2020 / 20:46

    what a lovely post! It is so refreshing for someone to showcase their true feelings and just be honest. Although tough, relatable posts like these are a wonder. I hope you are doing okay hun, and wish you all the best moving forward!

    http://www.sophiapatel.co.uk

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      24/11/2020 / 22:25

      Ah thank you Sophia! I was a tad nervous before putting this post out into the world but I’m glad I did as loads fo people have come forward in support and also telling me about their similar experiences! Thank you for reading! Xx

  8. 25/11/2020 / 19:02

    You seem to have such a positive outlook, well done girl xx

  9. 25/11/2020 / 21:12

    I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. It’s like you said: here’s to a fresh start!

  10. 26/11/2020 / 19:59

    It’s brave of you to share your experience in this post and I’m sure it will help other people who are going through breakups too. Well done for staying positive, breakups are hard but it sounds like you are coping really well xxx

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      26/11/2020 / 22:21

      Thank you! Thank you for reading too! Xxx

  11. 11/02/2021 / 12:17

    Here is hoping things getting better for you! Taking the time to work on yourself and do things you enjoy is really beneficial as not having to be held back by ‘couple’s activities.

    Friendship groups – that was the worst thing from my own experience, they were more her friends than mine so it sucked knowing I wouldn’t get to have those good times with them again. On the positive I moved on, met new friends and had new good times!

    Good luck!

What did you think?

%d bloggers like this: