Let’s Talk About Mental Health

Last month it was World Mental Health Day on 10th October and it got me thinking about how I have been during lockdown, the last few months of uni and with my social life. For the past few weeks, I haven’t been myself truthfully. I’ve been a bit down in the dumps and getting emotional about the simplest things. Thankfully I have friends and family who support me and can sometimes tell when I’m not myself and need my space. It’s only in the past few years where I’ve really thought about my mental health and how it affects my mood and others around me. I wanted to write a post so that you know why I’ve been a bit quiet on here and my socials recently.

This one’s a long one so I’d grab a big ol’ mug of tea.

First things first

Josh and I broke up. We’re still going to be good friends but I guess it’ll be a bit different between us both. We were both really busy with work and even though I saw it coming it’s still upsetting. I’ve been spending lots of time at home and with Alice, Chris and Marcus at the local pub quiz to take my mind off it. I am very thankful for them.

Will, Jake, Marty and Lauren have also been absolute stars throughout these past few weeks too, making sure I’m alright and checking on me. I did cancel a few events with them as I just felt like I would bring them down with my constant mood change but looking back I should’ve gone and had fun! Luckily, I’m feeling a lot more like myself so keep an eye on my Instagram for plenty of festive themed drink outings and activities, there’s just something about autumn and winter that cheers me up.

Don’t believe everything you see on social media

During the first stages of lockdown, I saw loads of people living a ‘dream life’ when in actual fact, everything isn’t as it seems. My time in the first stage? I was crying pretty much every day from the stress of having to complete my degree from home in my bedroom and the fact my job’s security wasn’t very good either. Thankfully I was furloughed and I managed to earn my 2:1 but it literally took blood, sweat and tears. I missed my class and workmates so thank god for Microsoft Teams, FaceTime and group chats.

I don’t want to try and replicate anyone on social media but sometimes I do feel like I live a boring life compared to others and I guess that’s where I’m making my first mistake. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others. I always make what I think is a big effort with my appearance but then I feel a bit deflated when I go on Instagram and see slimmer people doing similar things.

That’s why at the start of lockdown I decided to go on the treadmill at least three times a week but that lasted all of two months as I couldn’t be bothered, but I guess that is one thing about living at home and being single again – I’m not eating out every other day and piling on a few pounds and I’m back at work now where I’m constantly on my feet, fleeting across the shop helping customers and my team.

Taking time for myself

Lockdown unlocked some hidden crafting talents I had. I taught myself how to cross stitch and managed to complete a few secret projects for family and friends – it killed a few days! I would just plonk myself on the sofa for hours on end and stitch my heart away, it’s nice coming home from a long day of work and just relaxing with a tea and cross stitching…god I sound like a grandma but I’m happy and that’s all that matters. In fact, while I’m writing this post, I have a gingerbread house that needs completing.

Around my birthday in September I did some editing work for my Dad’s work and that was really fun to use the skills I’d learnt at university. I got a lovely gift through the post from the company too which was I was very shocked about as I was just doing them a favour! It was funny to watch my Dad’s reaction whenever something went wrong or I needed to fix something as I did it so calmly, haha! I can tell you now – I don’t get my organisational trait for my Dad! I can’t leave anything to the last minute, hence why my Blogmas posts are always written a few months in advance so I can tweak them if needs be.

Some changes on the blog

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone on Twitter and Instagram who has reached out and who still reads my older posts. It really does mean the world.

You might have noticed I’ve changed my domain name to my actual name. Indigo Violet Diaries has done me well over these past three years but change is always good, so say hello to niamhdarby.com! I LOVE IT. You may have also seen a new addition to the menu choices above – you can now shop any products featured on my Instagram posts or stories, some are affiliate links however as I’m trying out a new program.

Finally, thanks for being here. Don’t forget to take some time for yourselves today.

STAY SAFE!

WITH LOVE,

NIAMH

XXX

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13 Comments

  1. 02/11/2020 / 6:55 pm

    Hello! Welcome back; and I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup and sending all the best wishes to you – it must be tough but glad to read that you’re feeling okay about it all now. Completely agree with what you say regarding social media vs reality; I think in this second lockdown I’m really going to curate who I follow so I am inspired yet not feeling vastly inadequate. Good luck with your business dealings, how exciting for you! The new name change is really great, and I feel like it suits this blog perfectly in line with what’s going on in your life right now. Looking forward to reading more from you soon!

    Paige // Paige Eades

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      02/11/2020 / 7:08 pm

      Ah, thank you so much for your support! I’m so happy to be back – hopefully, bigger and better! Sending love back to you, stay safe! Xxx

  2. 02/11/2020 / 9:30 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear that you had a relationship breakup, I hope you are doing ok and it’s nice to read that you’re going to stay friends. I love how you wrote about not believing everything you see on social media, in today’s circumstances, that is something we all need to stand by! x

    Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      02/11/2020 / 9:42 pm

      It’s a strange time we live in where everything is perceived differently online. We all have to be careful and put any social “norms” to one side! Thank you so much for reading! ✨ xxx

  3. 02/11/2020 / 11:29 pm

    I agree- comparing yourself to others is one of the worst things you can do! I am guilty of it when it comes to beauty standards, but any comparison to others is just unfair to yourself as everyone is doing their own thing- and not everything is always as it seems, as you say. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      02/11/2020 / 11:32 pm

      Thank you for reading! It’s always a tad hard for everyone to not compare themselves to others but then we have to remember that being different is what makes us all unique! X

  4. Daniela Nina
    03/11/2020 / 8:04 am

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling, I also went through a break-up this year (and having to move) but it was for the best in the end… :- ) I hope things will get much better for you, too :- ) What you said about comparing ourselves to someone’s social media is so true but so hard to avoid!

    Daniela
    http://www.danielanina.com

  5. 04/11/2020 / 10:07 am

    Love your blog revamp! I’m completely with you when it comes to comparing others on social media, as much as I try, it’s hard not to. Also sorry to hear about your break up – time really is a great healer and I’m always hear to talk to if you need someone xx

    http://www.dellalovesnutella.co.uk/

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      04/11/2020 / 9:29 pm

      Thank you so much – I’ve found talking to friends is always a great thing for anything, not just break ups! Thank you for reading! Xx

  6. 08/11/2020 / 3:42 am

    I’m sorry to hear about your break up but I am sure you will get through it all (so sending hugs). I agree with you about the fact social media is used to often show an unrealistic side of life (comparison really is the theif of joy). This whole pandemic has been tough so that really needs to be acknowledged and shared. Thanks for writing your thoughts — very helpful!

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      08/11/2020 / 10:44 am

      Ah thank you for reading! I hope you’re doing okay in this pandemic – hopefully, it will disappear soon! Thank you for your support! X

  7. Kayleigh Zara
    22/11/2020 / 5:29 pm

    The don’t believe everything you see on social media is a big one for me too because it affects me so badly especially when I see people my age so much further ahead with their lifes. I have to slow down and remind myself that everyone does things at their own pace. Thanks for sharing this gal x

    • Niamh Darby
      Author
      22/11/2020 / 7:09 pm

      We are growing in a culture that has us looking at others to see what is the norm, but we have to break that! Thanks for reading! X

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