Hi, I’m Niamh and I’m a 23 year old virgin. That’s it. That’s the post. I have not had sex. If you would’ve told me a year ago I would be writing a post about this topic, I would’ve cringed. 2021 is the year where I’m going to be more open in reality and on the blog too. Life’s too short to be afraid to talk about things that are around us in everyday life. I’m loving the ‘new and improved Niamh’. I was chatting to my friends last week about how I should be more open and honest on my site as it helps people.
It’s always nice to know you’ve helped someone or know someone who is going through something similar. I’ve been way more open with my friends, so why not on here too? Last week I wrote about how I’m not eager to get into a new relationship, mainly due to lockdown and to be perfectly honest – I don’t want one at the moment. I’m loving being single, but enough about that – you can read it here, you might want to give it a glance before reading further as it will give a little context to things mentioned.
Define ‘serious’ relationship
I was in a relationship with someone I trusted and considered a best friend…but I know now nothing was meant to happen in that time. We were more like best friends with some benefits, in the form of a relationship, so I honestly didn’t feel comfortable doing anything that could possibly be awkward if we broke up – which obviously we did. I mean we didn’t live on our own so it was always a bit awkward. Writing these posts has allowed me to reflect on what my first relationship actually was and to be honest, it was just two friends who thought they had feelings for each other but faded with time, like I mentioned earlier.
I Know Now It’s Not Embarrassing
Here’s the funny thing, I always thought by the time I was 25 at least I would be in a happy relationship, in our own house and ready for anything, but realistically my life was and still is far from that. I mean I have just under two years left for that to happen but my mindset has changed. I’m gonna be honest – I don’t know how to ‘approach’ that situation. I know it’s not going to be like the movies, nothing ever is let’s be honest here.
I used to be really embarrassed when people found out I hadn’t had sex yet but I know it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’m not waiting for the ‘right person’, I’m waiting for the right time if that makes sense. It will happen when it happens, but for now I will just continue my cross stitching because lockdown has turned me into a Grandma once again.
Don’t Keep Telling Me I’m Missing Out
MULTIPLE people – including friends – keep telling me I’m ‘missing out’, but how do I know what I’m actually missing out on? I’ve got ZERO experience in that field. I’ll be honest – yes I did feel out of the loop in school and college when people were talking about their body counts. But when you’re in school it’s different. When I was in school and college, even in uni, it was seen as an ‘achievement’ to sleep with a few people before you were 18. And there was little old me. Failing her science GCSEs and putting drama exams before everything else – not a care in the world about sex.
Through College and University…
I didn’t really think anything of it until my last year of college / first year of university. University was a big change for me. I was exposed to quite a bit more freedom than I was used to. Yes, I still lived at home. I felt I could do a bit more than just sit in my bedroom and watch crappy films. Which is a summary of my first year and a half of university until I started my relationship. Even when I started my relationship, I was (and still am) very private about sex. I guess I was scared, it’s a scary thing to someone who doesn’t know what to expect. We didn’t really talk about anything of that nature or about sex really. I was lucky if I got a hug off him. I just settled for not doing anything, eek.
At the moment, I have no plans to go out into the world and ‘sell’ myself to anyone. Even though I’m evolving as an individual, I’m not ready for that just yet. The right person will come along at the right time, and I’m not just talking about sex here. I still find it really awkward to talk about. You can imagine how I’m feeling putting this post out there. This is just the start of something I’ve wanted to do for a while. I’m sorry if you have Salt – N – Pepa in your head from the title of this post. I felt it was very fitting. I usually struggle with titles for my posts. They always change at least three times before I publish them but this one was just meant for this post.
I hope this post helps my audience in some way to be more confident and embrace themselves. There’s no need to be embarrassed about what society tells us is normal. Or what we should have done by now. That’s why when I was younger I was somewhat worried. I was lagging ‘behind’ but I know now I’m perfect the way I am. Ready for whatever the future wants to throw at me.