Why I Don’t Want to Rely on Using Dating Apps

selfie with devil horns pt.2

Eugh, dating apps. Yep, I’m on them but does anyone actually know how to use them for their purpose? I certainly don’t. I don’t know if you can tell I’m quite an awkward bean when it comes to sex and relationships. My last relationship started by just deciding an outing was a date and that was that. It was a cinema trip to see Johnny English 3. How romantic. And I think I paid as well.

Even when I was becoming an independent individual aka going to college and university, I was never phased by dating apps. I was on them but I’d never take them seriously. Call me old fashioned but I’d like to meet someone in person, like at work. But I just don’t want to be pressured into it. I’ll take my own sweet time. And as you know, I am learning to be a bit more forward when it comes to this topic.

Swiping right, swiping left…

When someone says ‘dating apps’, you instantly think of Tinder. It can be hit or miss, for me it’s an in between situation. I get talking to someone and then I chicken out. It doesn’t really help with the fact we are in a pandemic and meeting a stranger within two metres is just a weird thought to me. For now, I’ll stick with my little bubble. I honestly can’t wait to go back to work. Seeing the work family every day will be such a boost to the day.

I will get myself back out there but like I’ve said numerous times – I’m happy being single. It’s given me time to really focus on myself and what I want to do with my life after the pandemic. My travel list is always expanding, along with my Pinterest boards. I would love to go to Italy again. When I was very young, we visited but I don’t remember it well. I don’t think I’m quite ready for a solo travel experience yet but maybe later in life.

Who makes the first move?

When you ‘match’ with someone, there’s always a debate on what is too soon to message first…or if they will even message at all. If you meet someone in person, you can get that awkward stage out of the way almost instantly. Having only had one relationship, I don’t have that much luck when it comes to progressing. At work, I try and build a sort of rapport with some customers but nothing comes of it. I guess it was because I was with someone but now. Now I can give it another go.

If I remember correctly, I made the first move. Looking back, it was a bit childish. It was done via text even then I don’t think it was official. But then what makes a relationship official? Do you just decide one Thursday morning? It different for everyone I guess. It’s funny how you think your first relationship will be ‘the one’ and then you’ll live happily ever after. Life and other things change sometimes.

Learning to love myself again

It’s been six months since my break up. Wow. I didn’t realise it had been that long. I have become a much better person in these six months. Not to toot my horn, but I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin. My confidence has skyrocketed and I’m myself around my friends. Even before my relationship I didn’t feel like I was myself. I would make a massive effort to be someone I’m not, like listening to certain genres of music to fit in with another crowd. Now, I am proud I am not longer making those silly choices.

Growing up, I never thought anyone would really pay attention to me in that way. I wasn’t ‘popular’ but I was known, if that makes sense. It wasn’t until secondary school where I started to notice little things making me think people were looking at me differently. In a good way. In school, you don’t get the chance to make a noticeable effort with your appearance – college wasn’t the exception for me either. I literally lived in hoodies and leggings because I would be hunched over a computer editing my coursework for hours on end. No different to today I suppose, except I’m writing my blogs, ha!

Jobs and university changed me for the better

The post has turned into a life story really but we’ll go with it. During college, I got my first job. As you know, it was working in a garden centre. So our main audience was the older generation. Not really ideal for an 18 year old. I think I was just about to turn 22 when I left there and started my current job. Which I love. Having a work family who feel like you’ve known tem years is just the best. It’s really comforting. Knowing you’re going to enjoy your shift no matter who you’re working with.

Having friends like Alice and Chris has really helped me improve myself. Imagine if I hadn’t changed jobs? I would still be in a job washing pots, watering plants and in a one sided relationship. Eek. For now, I am back on dating apps but I won’t be too invested in them. I’m taking my sweet time to get back into a relationship. The other day Marty told me he was proud of me for my more honest blog content and for bettering myself. I don’t think life could can get better than now, but here’s to the future.

With love,

Niamh x

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3 Comments

  1. 11/03/2021 / 10:04 pm

    This is such a great post! I’m so glad that you’re happy being single right now and taking time to enjoy life and build your self confidence. Really inspiring 😍 I agree that dating apps can be a total nightmare!! I’ve been on a couple of dates from dating apps before but I’ve always found it uncomfortable transitioning from only texting to being on a date in one jump. I definitely prefer to get to know people well first. Can’t wait to see what you post next!

  2. Shyla Elza
    12/03/2021 / 1:19 pm

    Great post Niamh! You sound like you really know what you want from life and are learning to be yourself which is definitely admirable. I think you are going to go on to do great things and of course meet new people along the way. Thanks for sharing!

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